Supposed to do?
Was I supposed to accomplish something this year..? Was I supposed to somehow manage to find peace in your death? Was I supposed to find God? Was I supposed to be stronger, better, a rock? Was I supposed to pack, unpack and repack my over 50lbs of emotional baggage? Spoiler alert, Dad. I did none of those things. And let me tell ya, that extra $100 dollars in baggage fees issa real bitch. So what did I do? Well. I resented and avoided. I pushed away. I pretended and deflected. But I also bought Cinnabon cinnamon rolls for Christmas morning (and proceeded to eat the entire box alone) thinking of all the Christmas mornings spent with you, ma and Spenie. I taught spin classes to your playlist. " I LOVE your music !" Did you know you can do sprint intervals to Brick House? (do you even know what a sprint interval is?... ) I thought about you fondly, and often. I had Valentines. Mom, Spen and Cherry were a close, close second. And I realized, finally